38-year-old refuses to host Thanksgiving dinner for 20 guests this year, causing major rift in family: 'I’m tired of being treated like their personal chef'

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Ben Weiss • Writer and Editor
Oct 23, 2024 4:00 PM EDT

As Thanksgiving approaches, countless family members across the country are clenching their jaws and growing more and more tense about the logistical and social pressures of impending family gatherings.

Here, we have a 38-year-old woman who has been hosting Thanksgiving dinner for her 20-person extended family every year for the majority of the last decade. She used to enjoy these hosting responsibilities, but as time went on, she became resentful of the complete lack of support she received from her guests. No help cooking, no help organizing, no help cleaning up, etc. After several years of this annual ordeal, she decided to announce to her extended family that this year, "enough is enough." 

One can imagine how her ungrateful family responded to the news. Let's just say that people do not seem to be communicating with each other at the moment. Keep scrolling below for the full story and for the best reactions from folks in the comments section. For more, check out this post about a teenager's malicious compliance.

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    AITA for refusing to host Thanksgiving after being stuck with it for the past five years?
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    I (38M) have been hosting Thanksgiving for my family every year since I bought my house five years ago. This includes my parents,
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    siblings, their spouses, kids, and occasionally extended family. In total, it's about 20 people. I
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    don't mind cooking, but the problem is no one ever helps. I do all the grocery shopping, meal prep, cooking, and the massive cleanup afterward.
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    Last year, I asked for help, but everyone either ignored me or gave some lame excuse like, "I'm not good in the kitchen" or "I don't know how to cook."
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    Meanwhile, they're sitting around while I'm running around the kitchen all day. After the meal?
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    Same thing. They sit around chatting and drinking while I'm the only one cleaning up.
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    So this year, I said enough is enough. I told them I'm not hosting Thanksgiving. I
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    suggested someone else step up, or we could split the cost of catering. Cue the drama. My siblings. flipped out, complaining about how it's "tradition"
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    for me to host. My mom called me selfish, and my aunt said I was ruining Thanksgiving for the kids. because they "love coming to my house."
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    Now, they're all upset with me, calling me lazy and saying I'm ruining the holiday. Honestly, I'm
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    tired of being treated like their personal chef and cleanup crew every year, but now I feel guilty for putting my foot down.
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    So, AITA for refusing to host Thanksgiving this year?
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    Edit: Thank you to everyone for your thoughts and opinions! I didn't expect so many responses, and I really appreciate the support and perspectives shared.
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    It's been reassuring to know I wasn't being unreasonable in this situation. Thanks again!
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    corgihuntress • 12h ago. Hold your ground. These people are mean, entitled, and lazy. I wouldn't take their calls, read their emails or texts, or otherwise engage with them. Either that, or if you do answer,
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    just say I agree. I'm too lazy to clean, shop, cook, set the table, wash all the dishes, and clean up all the mess again after five years in a row of doing everything by myself while the rest of you leaches sit on your a
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    and don't do a d d thing. And now you have the gall to suggest that I'm required to serve you. Why don't you look in the mirror and see who's actually lazy and selfish, not to mention entitled, whiney, ungrateful. NTA
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    WhereWerethe... .12h ago NTA. Their 'tradition' is being catered to by you. They are fighting to keep that alive because all they have to do is show up, be fed, enjoy themselves and go home. You get the cost, cooking, and cleanup.
    via DogeCommanderRex
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    I would start a new tradition, a nice vacation for you over Thanksgiving.
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    thegloracle 12h ago NTA. You can do an immediate-family only dinner and let the rest of the choosy beggars fend for themselves.
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    - Or get everyone to chip in $10/person and order take- out or catering. Everything gets eaten on paper plates and with plastic utensils then into a giant trash bag at the end of the night. Boom! Done. - Or someone else can step up.
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    Or they can buy entry in - with a dish. An actual dish for 20 people, not just buns or some stupid Assign everyone a dish and let them know they'll need to bring it to come in the door. Not even joking. If they want their plate/bowl back, they'll need to wash it or it becomes yours forever.
    via DogeCommanderRex

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family drama aita thanksgiving parenting family reddit thread Reddit happy thanksgiving entitled people choosing beggar
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